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Sunday, March 7, 2021

As For Dynamite: Predictions of AEW Revolution

I've seen a million of these prediction posts out there.  Here's mine.

But before we get started, I updated my pic of Shaq hitting the ring to face Cody Rhodes this past Wednesday on Dynamite. The pic was already blurry, so I leaned into that, increasing the abstraction with an element of deliberate graininess in an attempt to heighten the drama. I think this is better than the alternative, and anyway, as I wrote on Twitter, there is definitely no another way that this is going to work. It's either this or shitcan the picture outright.


On to Revolution!

Riho & Thunder Rosa vs. Dr. Britt Baker & Rebel (Buy-In). I recently followed Thunder Rosa on Instagram, and it's because of this I noticed she now sports the world's greatest ring gear. It's a perfect mix of tough and sexy, just like Rosa herself.

This match could go either way. Rosa and Riho have no reason to work together while Baker and Rebel have been on the same page for months. So Rosa and Riho could explode, setting up a feud that would absolutely work. More likely, though, Rosa goes over, setting up a rubber match against Baker down the road.

Prediction: Riho & Thunder Rosa.


AEW Tag Team Championship -- The Young Bucks (c) vs. The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho & MJF). This match could also go either way, depending on what you want to do next. Personally, I would put Jericho and MJF over, have Santana and Ortiz win the Tag Team Royale, and blow up the Inner Circle to put the tag titles on Santana and Ortiz. That is what I want. However, the Bucks could also retain to set up a program with Death Triangle or maybe the Dark Order.

Prediction: Inner Circle.


Casino Tag Team Royale. As I said, the winner here depends on the winner above. You wouldn't put Santana and Ortiz over to face the Bucks again, nor would you put over Death Triangle to go up against Jericho and MJF.

Prediction: The Dark Order shines early, but Santana and Ortiz finish on top.


Miro & Kip Sabian vs. Orange Cassidy & Chuck Taylor. Miro already said he's going to murder everyone, becoming the monster folks have wanted him to be all along. Let's take him at his word. They definitely can't bury the guy in his first high-profile match.

Prediction: Miro wins this one almost single-handedly.


Face of the Revolution Ladder Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Scorpio Sky vs. Penta El Zero Miedo vs. Lance Archer vs. Max Caster vs. TBD (For a shot a the TNT Title). I could easily see a case for putting Scorpio Sky over here, but in the end, it makes too much sense to set Lance Archer up with the win. They've been moving Archer up the card for a while now, to the point where I think we're gonna get Archer vs. Omega next. They're gonna need some new Main Eventers with Moxley looking like he's about to hit the shelf for a while and Cody close on his heels, owing to paternity leave in both cases. 

If it was me, I'd set up a Title vs. Title match to build the idea that Kenny Omega is the Best in the World. To do that, though, they need to keep building Archer.  

Prediction: Lance Archer.


Hangman Adam Page vs. Matt Hardy (Big Money Match). This might be the hardest match to predict on the entire card. Hangman is a drunk, and his getting too much money could easily be bad for him. His character tends to advance along tradition storytelling lines, meaning that he stumbles forward through his arcs. The disasters propel him. Or maybe he loses, is dead broke, and winds up relying on the Dark Order just to pay his bills. The problem is, it could work either way.

On the other side, Matt Hardy has struggled at times to find a place in AEW. It's probably not a huge deal if he loses, but a win here would do a lot to elevate his standing as a major heel within the promotion. Maybe this feud with Hangman doesn't continue, but this thing between Hardy and the Dark Order has been working. I'm not sure this blows it off.  Why should it?

With all of that said, Hangman promised that the beer was "on me" on Wednesday after the show ended. I could easily see AEW sending beers all around the arena at the mid-show mark just to pop the crowd. I myself might do that, especially if the card is kind of long. These PPVs tend to be long.  AEW definitely does not want a tired, dead crowd late in the show. Free beer would wake folks up.

Prediction: Hangman Adam Page.


Sting & Darby Alliin vs. Brian Cage & Ricky Starks (Street Fight). There is no chance that Sting loses his first actual match in AEW. They're also not about to weaken Darby right before his big title defense on March 10th against the winner of the ladder match.

Prediction: Sting & Darby Allin.


AEW Women's Championship -- Hikaru Shida (c) vs. Ryo Mizunami. I seem to be the only person on Earth who noticed that Ryo Mizunami wrestles using Hulk Hogan's old gimmick, down the leg-drop finisher. How weird is that? Alas, I'm already ready for the "Hollywood" Mizunami phase.

Prediction: Shida retains.

While we're on the topic, holy Hell, Shida smoked in that white pants suit Wednesday night. That look was on point, friends.


AEW World Championship -- Kenny Omega (c) vs. Jon Moxley (Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch). Omega retains, giving Moxley a reason to take some time away. He's got work to do over in New Japan, plus he's about to have a baby.  I doubt we see Mox again before the next PPV.

Prediction: Kenny Omega.

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