We shot the new AFF As For Lifestyle show last night. Given that training camp starts in less than a week, this will probably be the last one of these we do before we swing back to actual Army and/or College Football coverage.
We called last night's show Telling Your Story.
My part in this was talking about my memoir, the writing process, and the decision to first write my book and then to actually put it out publicly. It got me thinking about my folks for obvious reasons, resulting in... well, if not a nightmare, exactly, then a dream that got so intense I couldn't sleep afterward.
I was back in high school at the prom. But this, of course, was nothing like my actual prom except in the sense that I agreed to go with a girl I didn't really know because neither of us had a date. That part actually happened. The rest of this was insane.
In real life, I had a crush on this girl named Katie. I mean, I had a lot of crushes, but for whatever reason, Katie was the one who materialized in last night's dream. Only, she didn't look like Katie -- at all -- and she had her hair cut in this weird, boxy cut that made me think she was gay.
Which was fine. In the dream, as in real life, we were just going together to save face because neither of us had a date.
Except that she was standing RIGHT THERE in the dream, and she shook her hair out, and suddenly she was TOTALLY into me. So we danced, like, a lot, but she had a cold, so I couldn't actually kiss her, but it was still pretty rad. And then finally it was four in the morning, and my folks were like, "Okay, it's very late now. We need to leave."
But I couldn't find my shoes!
So suddenly I'm looking all over the place for my shoes, and again, this is not remotely like real life. In real life I would 100% abandon a pair of simple canvas shoes in a situation like this. But in this dream, there was NO WAY IN HELL that my parents were going to let me abandon my shoes, and they just sat there getting madder and madder and madder as I slowly lost my mind looking for my lost shoes. That part, at least, reminded me of real life.
So finally I wake up, and it's like, "Okay. My real life is actually way better than this. I'm so glad that I'm not stuck in that Hell with my parents like that. That was fucking nuts."
I mean, okay. It would have been really cool to hook up with Katie in real life. As I type this, I'm actively sad that never happened. But I'm still married to a beautiful woman in real life, and I love her very much, so I've more than learned to live with it. Like, we all have these little regrets. I have them at least as much as anyone. That doesn't mean I want or would be willing to blow up my life for them. I'm just saying that I was seventeen one time, and back then, there were lots of girls I never got to hook up with. Today that feels like a missed opportunity. Katie sits at the top of that list.
I've actually written about this before in relation to the memoir. Not about Katie but just generally.
So anyway, now it's four-thiry, and I'm awake and thinking about my folks, and that's never good. In the dream, I kind of got along with my parents, but in real life, our relationship was tumultuos as all Hell. So then I started thinking about the show because the show is undoubtedly what put all of this into my mind in the first place, and... Y'know, it's just not a great headspace. Especially at four in the fucking morning.
Oddly, I then figured out an initial version of the back cover copy for The Return of Dr. Necropolis. I got up, wrote it down, and then cut it into a little piece of promo art.
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| I've been messing with this thing all morning. This might be version 3.0. |
Friends, I've been up for kind of a long time now, and it feels like it's gonna be a pretty weird day.
Sigh.
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