Friday Mad Science: Sex, Yoga, and Rick Santorum

Apropos of nothing, I hate lawyers.  If we could all just work out our problems with pistols at ten paces, the world be a simpler, better place.  Well… to be fair, maybe not pistols.  Maybe just open-hand, no-holds-barred close quarters combat, to pinfall.  With the pinfalls being legally binding.  And maybe add a steel cage?  I don’t know.  But surely there’s a better way than hiring wordsmiths to overcomplicate literallyeverything.  Ugh.

If you’re wondering, I’d planned to become a lawyer all the way up until I took my first law class.  I wanted to be Matlock or Perry Mason.  But for better or worse, that first class disabused me of all my dreams and high-minded ideals.  In reality, lawyers are vicious, tricksy bastard who split hairs for a living, and even a single undergraduate semester was enough to put me off the lot of them for a lifetime.  Sadly, however, I still encounter them some in my professional life.  And they’re never standing in boxing trunks, with a conveniently located steel cage nearby.

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The least surprising thing I read this week?  That wealthy folks more likely to break rules than average folks, and that they exhibit worse general behavior.  Fact is, researchers recently showed that just the act of becoming rich, even in an unassuming way like winning the lottery, makes folks far less likely to care about and empathize with their fellow men.  Presumably that’s because rich people think they’re better than regular folk, probably because it’s very hard to process success as simple good luck.  Folks want to see their success as owing wholly to their own merits, and that’s only possible when they’re, in fact, better than normal people.  But if they’re better, then the fate of others is less important…  You see where this is going.

Truth?  I don’t care about how successful you are.  But if you are successful, and you let it make you an asshole… Well, this is why folks’re Occupying Wall Street.  Because they’re onto you.  And if you don’t start making it right, eventually, they’re gonna get upset and do something about it.  Seriously.  But don’t take my word for it.  Just give it time, and you’ll see I’m right.

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The other not-so-surprising fact of the week is that women are WAY under-represented in the gaming industry.  I bring this up because it’s such a shame.  I have a woman, a professional librarian, in my gaming group, and she’s easily one of the best players with whom I’ve ever played. 

What's the AC bonus on that chainmail bikini?
I wish—I mean, I really, really wish—that more women would get interested in RPGs, but I can see why they aren’t.  For one thing, look at the way women tend to be portrayed in fantasy?  It’s literally ludicrous.  And men, especially men online, can be utter pigs.

I bring this up because I’ve kind of had it on my mind lately.  I mean, we run an occasional Girl of the Week around here, and while I try to pick women who’re successful and interesting in their own rights, to be sure, I also try to pick women that I find sexy.  Because I like sex.  I like women.  I like the whole thing.  Granted, I'm not the kind of guy to be intimidated by a successful, powerful, opinionated woman, but still…  An appealing figure is an appealing figure, and to be sure, there are plenty that I find appealing.  Moreover, I know the audience here, and I’m not afraid to pander to it a little.  Hopefully, that doesn’t make me a pig, but appealing to everybody is a tough trick.

That said, my Blog of the Week is SarahDarkmagic.  She writes a column for Wizards of the Coast and generally pontificates on this issue in ways that I find visually appealing.  I’ll admit to not having had time to actually read much of her stuff yet, but it looks good, and I’m looking forward to getting a chance to get into it a bit this weekend.  So… enjoy!

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So  Mitt Romney won in Michigan in a close race, and he won easily in Arizona.  Yes, he and Rick Santorum are gonna split the delegates from Michigan easily, but Santorum’s not even on the ballot in Virginia and Texas, and at this point, I don’t see a realistic way in which anyone besides Mitt wins the election.  With that said, the one thing this process has taught me is that even Republicans view Romney as, at best, the least-worst solution as far as the Presidency is concerned.  Speaking as a lifelong Republican myself, that’s certainly the way I feel.

At this point, Republicans at the national level are starting to blame the nominating process, but if you want my opinion, that’s not the problem.  It’s the candidates, stupid.  No one wants to vote for any of these losers because, well… that statement sort of finishes itself, right?  They’re LOSERS!

Look, I’m a Republican because I believe in paying my bills and in ensuring that the economy is as laissez-faire as it can be.  Generally speaking, I believe in market incentives.  But.  Republicans in the DeLay era let the budget get completely out of control, costing themselves the fiscal high ground for the long term, and in any event, all of the implicit guarantees in our financial services economy have created a system that needs serious reform.  Moreover, with other countries manipulating their currencies to ensure their continued dominance in manufacturing, smart policies are needed.  I mean, it’s one thing for the Chinese to make a decision to impoverish their own urban citizens.  It’s another to let them systematically undervalue their currency at the expense of the entire globe’s economic security. 

The problem is that the last, best choice of the loyal opposition is a guy who’s proven that he’ll literally say anything to get elected.  And that doesn’t sit any better with me than it does with anyone else.

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Yoga makes you horny.  This is a scandal?  I thought this was the point.  You practice yoga to be more flexible.  To be able to breathe through extreme physical positions.  To be stronger, leaner, fitter.  Sexier.  

Sex and yoga.  Yup.  Similar moves, similar breath.  Yoga is an athletic practice with non-Christian spiritual aspects that encourages peace, love, and all that kind of thing.  With that said, how can you be surprised when yoga enthusiasts, and there are  lot of wanna-bees out there, are screwing peacefully?  They’re supposed to be happy ! Isn't that what Namaste means? Let's do this and feel good while doing it. Just like when you're doing it.  You always feel better afterwards. At least that’s my take on it.  And I LOVE yoga.

A typical yoga class.
Nope.  Nothing sexy here.
Picture courtesy of Wikipedia Commons
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Finally, my favorite thing of the week: Sex Crazed Coeds Going Broke Buying Birth Control!  Holy crap!  Who knew you had to take more pills when you have more sex?!

*sigh* 

This is why I find it hard to listen to people like Rick Santorum.  Who are these assholes and why do they hate sex?  Sex is fucking wonderful!  We should be having MORE, not less. 

Seriously.  In the words of Janis Joplin, sometimes you just gotta get it while you can.


Good grief.  I'm such a feminist.

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