Heard on Christmas Eve

Emma: Daddy, what kind of elf is Santa Claus?

Me: Uh...

Emma (crosses arms across her chest):  Dad.  I know the kinds of elves.

Me: Umm...

Emma: Is he a regular elf?  A half-elf?  A fire elf?  An eladrin?  A drow?  I mean, I know he's not a drow.  Is he?


Me: I think--

Emma: Dad!  I know the kinds of elves!

Me:  Umm... I think he's a fey creature.  Like, uh, the fey Lord of Christmas!

Emma: What does that mean?

Me: It means he lives in the Feywild.  In the Farie Lands.

Emma: But what kind of elf is he?  They say he's a merry old elf!  What kind?

Me: He's a High Elf.  He has to be because he's The Fey Lord of Christmas.

Emma: A what?!  You made that up.  There's no Fey Lord of Christmas!

Me:  I did not!  A High Elf is the same thing as an eladrin.

Emma:  Oh.

Me:  Got it?

Emma:  Yeah, but...  I don't think that's right.  I think he's a half-elf.  He doesn't look like a real elf.  He's too fat.

Me:  He's the fey Lord of Christmas!

Emma:  Dad.  There's no such thing as The Fey Lord of Christmas!  You made that up.  He's a half-elf.

Me:  I guess you're right.

Emma:  See?  I know the kinds of elves.