I can find nothing of interest in the news that I consider to be real news, so this week we’re gonna look at a bunch of stuff that definitely is not news. It all comes from Slate because, well, Slate is an interesting site where a bunch snotty NYC liberals write about topics that they don’t understand. Needless to say, I love it and read it daily.
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| All I'm saying is... it's a shame. |
So, let’s get started…
Lori “Lolo” Jones is a twenty-nine-year-old virgin! She’s also a champion Olympic hurdler. All I can really say about that is that it’s a damn shame. I’m afraid Ms. Jones has built the act into something that it isn’t; withthat much build up, she’s bound to be disappointed if and when she ever actually participates.
I also don’t understand why she hasn’t simply gotten married. Someone that pretty and that successful must have had at least a couple of would-be suitors with something on the ball.
Ai Weiwei is my new favorite Chinese artist. I have no idea why the PRC’s government is watching him, and I don’t care. His Animal Heads/Chinese Zodiac sculptures were awesome. They’re currently on display at theHirshhorn.
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| The Dragon from Animal Heads/Chinese Zodiac by Ai Weiwei. |
Hulu is also awesome, and the companies that own it wish that it wasn’t. That’s not news. What’s weird is that Hulu’s awesomeness is a problem. And the problem is, specifically, that online ad rates are lower than regular TV ad rates, which is weird because online ads can’t be skipped on Hulu whereas almost no one actually watches regular TV ads. Someone needs to explain that to me. I think the truth here is that all advertising is effective, but it’s nowhere near as effective as TV networks would like their advertisers to believe. And the problem is that you can quantify that pretty easily with online ads whereas with regular TV, there’s no way to prove ineffectiveness, leading corporations to live in the beautiful glow of their own self-destructive illusions. Given how the management’s pay structures are built on the ongoing illusion of success, one can easily see why illusory success is more appealing in modern America than real, quantifiable statistics are.
Finally, I’m tired of hearing about Alan Moore’s take on the things DC Comics has done with The Watchman. Bottom line, Moore sold his rights, he received and accepted the money offered, and the property changed hands. If he wanted the rights back after a definite time period, he should have either specified that in his initial contract or been prepared to offer a market rate for the rights’ current value after the sale. His argument now is akin to me selling you my house and then getting mad when you repaint it because I’d assumed that the bank was going to foreclose on your mortgage, and I’d therefore been planning to buy it back at well below market price, and your new color scheme is outside of my vision for the house’s decor. And I’m VERY MAD ABOUT IT!!!
I mean, all of that may be true, but once you own the house, it’s yours, and my assumptions about how your ownership is going to go are totally irrelevant. Moreover, Moore’s assumption that DC Comics would stop printing his life’s masterwork and simply give it back was ludicrous on its face.
And… that’s all I’ve got. See? I told you none of it was even moderately important.
Hi there. You sound like a sexist asshole with your mindless prattle in regards to Lolo. I can't believe that you would say the things you do on here as a father of two girls. I would think that your attitude towards virgins would differ from what you posted. Lolo would probably only be disappointed with sex if she chose you as her first-time. BTW, your above posted pics of the sausage grilling looks like two turds on a platter and I would "pass the peas" if I were invited to supper. Wouldn't even earn a "no thank you" bite".
ReplyDeleteI have a solution for the "problem" you seem to have with Lolo's abstinence. Isn't that hot, sex-on-a-stick boy Tebow a virgin too?? Somebody please get those two together!
Well. The truth is that if Lolo was with me, she would probably be happy about it. Because, bottom line, I am not only a devastatingly handsome man who possesses near superhuman prowess as a lover, I'm also a generally positive and supportive guy. With that said, nowhere up there did I suggest that Lolo SHOULD be with me. I merely think she should be with SOMEONE--honestly, openly, and with no reservations.
ReplyDeleteHere's a fact: I do not personally put much stock in the idea that folks ought to wait until they are marries to have sex. I've been married twice, once good and once not-so-good, and in both instances we waited until we were married to become intimate. With Sally, I though that was silly, but I respected her wishes and didn't push. With Misty though, I think I can pretty much guarantee that a little premarital sex would have saved everyone involved a lot of heartache later. My marriage to Misty was "pure" in a Christian sense. In every other way, it was a train wreck. Moreover, I was intimate with several other people before Misty, and frankly, those were good relationships. I wouldn't traded them or the memory of them for anything.
As for my girls, they have their